Family

“Is she sleeping at night?” or “How many times does she wake up at night?” is one of the main questions we are always asked since having Ever.  Lucky for us, Ever is an amazing sleeper.  I’m not entirely sure if it’s genetics or just all the great advice I received before her arrival but apart from a few bad weeks in the beginning she is more or less snoozing through the night at less than 12 weeks.  Yay!  

Here are a few things that have worked:

1.  Co-sleeping. I read a lot about this during my pregnancy and most articles are very against it due to the risk of suffocation or rolling on top of your baby.  The thought was very daunting when I stared at my fragile newborn. I was far more comfortable with her resting in her moses basket than between the boy and I, but after several expensive bedding options she still preferred to sleep close to me. Most likely it’s my greedy little baby wanting to be near her food source, but I think it gives them an added sense of security which helps them snooze through the night.  I am also more aware of her needs while she is beside me, so I feed her before she wakes and cries from hunger.  Every little sound is a signal for me to either nurse or comfort her which means even if she does wake it will only be to feed and then straight back to sleep.  No need for me to get up and rock her or for the boy and I to fully wake to deal with the situation.  I feel incredibly in tune with her needs since we’ve been co-sleeping, and as I write now she’s happily napping beside me.  Our bond seems stronger and I actually feel she is safer sleeping beside me than somewhere where I can’t see her.

2.  Music and White Noise.  You can get mobiles, cribs, and toys that play music to your baby.  Ever finds light music incredibly soothing and it helps her feel drowsy.   We usually play it for her after her bath while she’s hanging out to make her a bit sleepy and ready for bed.   After she’s asleep we try to keep it on for another hour or so to keep her comforted.  After that nothing could wake her.  White noise is another one that worked when she was a newborn.  She was always calm when she heard the sound of our fan so I downloaded a white noise app on my phone.  “Rain” and “fan” were clear favourites.

 

3.  Cluster feeding.  Ever tends to cluster feed right before bedtime.  She will nurse or drink from the bottle about every half hour for three hours before she goes to bed for the night.  This keeps her full and usually gives me at least four hours until she needs to be fed.  That means four solid hours of good sleep.  If I’m home and she’s nursing that night she will lightly drink for an hour straight and usually nurse to sleep.  This was a habit she picked up from the first few weeks so now our nanny gives her a pacifier after her bottle to mimic the same sensation.  

4.  Nighttime routine.  We bathe, play, feed, rock, sleep.  Always in that order.  It’s predictable and she knows exactly what to expect.  We are hoping to wean her off the rocking part eventually, but for now it works and we are happy to help her on her way to Z land.

All of these methods have been invaluable to us.  I am late sleeper so Ever usually goes to bed with me at 1am. Although it hasn’t been that hard for us, it can become tiring. So I have a feeling that this might catch up to me soon enough. With this being said, just so I’m prepared, I’ve even taken it upon myself to research Online Dispensary Canada and see what it’s all about, as a friend of mine recommended the idea of trying out medical marijuana to help with sleep issues. She said it worked for her, so if it comes down to it, at least I’ll have a potential solution. But for now, everything is going fine.

She then will wake up to feed at around 4am and 8am and can sleep in with me until about 11am.  This schedule works for my routine as I come home late and love to sleep in, but can definitely be moved earlier for different habits.  The most useful part has been to make sure she doesn’t open her eyes when she wakes up to feed.  I get the milk to her before she cries so she’s dream feeding.  Then she is happy to stay cozily in bed until my wake-up call.

Happy snoozing!

xx

I am so obsessed with Livly‘s cute selection of girls clothes and can definitely see Ever growing with this brand.  The Scandinavian brand has set up in Harbour City and is one of my favourite baby/kids shops. The sweet newborn clothes were made with 100% Pima Cotton and super soft for Ever’s sensitive skin.  She has worn her bow onesie non stop since we got it a month ago and now that she’s a bit bigger, I can’t wait to get her into a few of the super cute frill sleeve dresses.  My little sister is only six and I was even eager to shop for her and get her a swallow print dress and bright canary yellow pea coat.  I’m eagerly awaiting the day Ever is big enough to wear those gold glitter mary janes and pink bow headband. They have plenty of boys stuff too for those of you who aren’t shopping for a baby girl 😉

LIVLY Harbour City
Shop OT G09, Ground Floor,
Ocean Terminal
Harbour City, Kowloon

香港九龍尖沙咀  海港城海運大廈OT G09号铺
營業時間：10AM to 10PM

T +852 2157 1198

Opening Hours:
Monday-Sunday     10:00-10:00

Childcare is complicated.   It’s leaving your precious little baby in the hands of a stranger and hoping everything will be okay.  I know many don’t believe in this type of parenting, especially if you aren’t living in Asia where nannies are available in abundance.  Movies such as The Nanny Diaries and Uptown Girls (yes I love both) paint a picture of horrible, absent parenting when it comes to hiring full time help, but I’ve found here in HK the opposite is true.  Most of the families who have helpers actually have more time to play with their children, spend the majority of their day taking their little ones out or spending time with them at home.  Nannies, or helpers as they are called here, just make it that much easier to have a spotless home and semi active social life while being a full time parent.  

The boy and I are lucky enough to work from home so we spend our entire day with Ever, and she sleeps in our bed each night.  Saying that, I do have a moment to write this blog post, and there is never a dirty dish in my house.  I haven’t washed up any bottles, cooked a single meal, and probably have only changed a handful of diapers since our amazing nanny DD arrived two weeks ago.  I have however done almost every single feed and kept up breastfeeding despite any busy schedules, play with Ever most her waking hours, and carefully choose every cute outfit she wears.

We have had two different nannies since Ever’s arrival and here are my tips for how to deal with full time help living in your home.  I know it’s probably more personal and everyone will want something different but for us this has been the way to go.

1.  Be clear about how personal you want her to be.  I don’t want a nanny to be part of our family or really be too friendly with Dan and I.  I want Ever to understand the difference between family and her nanny so after our first temporary nanny who was a little too loving for my taste I have made a strict no kissing rule.  I don’t want them to kiss Ever on the face or tell her they love her.  No co-sleeping with her even though she co-sleeps with us in our bed.  In the day she sleeps in a crib in the nursery not in the nanny’s arms. For us there needs to be a distinct separation between Mommy and Daddy and her nanny.

2.  Priorities and being clear about what is most important on her list of things to do.  Cleaning is not the top of her list.  Ever is her top priority, so washing Ever’s bottles, clothes, and making sure her play area is clean and tidy is the top priority.  Cleaning the house and doing chores for Dan and I come second to Ever’s need.   That way I know the baby has everything she needs at all times.

3.  Schedules have worked extremely well for us and the baby.  Because Ever is a great sleeper and stays with me in bed until almost noon most days, I make sure DD cleans the house and does the laundry/dishes before we wake.  That way she has less to do for the rest of the day and can concentrate on Ever.  The boy and I are usually out each evening so I tell DD to get more rest in the afternoon as she takes care of Ever until we get home at night.  After we leave, DD keeps to Ever’s bath, snooze, eat, snooze schedule until we get home. This way both DD and Ever know what to expect each day and our daily chores always get done.

4.  Personal space.  Because DD lives in our home, we like to have a place that just for our little family.  Where we spend alone time.  The boy and my room is where we spend time with Ever.  We always close the door and have alone time with her.  We made the mistake of letting the first nanny into our room and telling her to take care of Ever in there while we were out.  This blurred the lines of where she should be, and made her more comfortable to come in when we were spending time with Ever.  Now it’s clear that when we are in our room, its just us.

5.  Know what you are looking for before you hire someone.  We wanted someone quiet and kind.  DD is very gentle with Ever and is so quiet we generally don’t even realize she is at home.  She keeps to herself but is animated when playing with the baby.  Our first nanny voiced her opinions about how Ever should be taken care of each day, and wanted too much involvement for my taste.  I am now happy to have someone that follows instructions seamlessly, interacts with the baby, but is shy and quiet in our home. 

These are all personal choices and it is always hard to choose a person who will fit into your family, so make sure to cover all the bases when you interview and find someone that suits your home and baby.

Another four weeks have passed and Ever is growing at warp speed.  She has taken a liking to florals and may have started to look a little more like me and less identical to the boy.  She went through a single extremely fussy week and ended it with a huge smile and complete attitude change. Now she can’t smile enough and seems extremely pleased with the most mundane things! Addiction to sleep must be heriditary because Ever sleeps like a champion two month old.  I must be the only Mommy that gets to sleep in until 10:30am and is actually the one to wake her baby up when it’s time to rise and shine.   I know there are a million different stages and things can change in a snap so for now I’m enjoying the peace.  

Products we couldn’t live without this month.

Graco Countour Electra Travel Cot: This pack and play is probably too heavy to actually use for travel but it’s Ever’s new napping spot.   I am not partial to the nanny co-sleeping with Ever so she spends a lot of time here while we are out.   It has a few dangly toys to keep her smiley face occupied and plays music to lull her to sleep.   It also has a slight swinging motion which she loves and a little night light.  Perfect for daytime playing and napping.

Pigeon baby lotion and Mustela Hydra Bebe Facial Cream:  We have started using products on Ever and she loves both of these.  They make her smell delicious and keeps the dry skin at bay.  She has experienced a few very mild rashes since birth but nothing that a little bit of breastmilk wont fix.  It’s my favourite trick of the trade.  Rubbing breastmilk on rashes consistently makes them dissapear instantly. 

Breast Milk Storage Bags: There are tons of brands out there and they all do the job.   We have started going out at night so I pump in the day to make sure she has enough to drink while I’m out.   I have also started storing bags of milk in the freezer in case I have to leave her on any overnight trips.   Always better to be prepared.

Playgym:  We had this from the first month but her interest in it did not appear until now.   She can spend a lot of time staring up at those toys and is mesmerized by the mirror. It’s a sure way to bring out her smile and a perfect way to spend the time between feeding and sleeping.  Also works for tummy time or a soft mat to place her on and dress her after a bath.  I love Mamas and Papas’ selection as the colours aren’t too much of an eyesore. It won’t be long and she’ll be due her first dental appointment (I think it’s in 1 month!) which will be an experience, I hope she keeps her amazing smile to show the practitioners at Dentist Santa Monica.

First Month Essentials

I would have to say we were pretty prepared parents, or I was a very prepared Mummy when it came to Ever’s arrival.  My hours were spent diligently sifting through hundreds of books and parenting sites, compiling a list of must have items from every list I could locate on the web.   Almost everything, including the exact brand, was available in HK.  It didn’t matter if I read it on a UK or US site, HK is amazing at importing everything for us picky parents.   Shortly after her arrival I realised this tiny six pound baby needed little else than diapers, my boobs, and lots of love.   But below are a few items we have found extremely useful during our first month with Ever.

Co-sleeper:  We started with a moses basket gifted from my Mother.  I spent hours finding the perfect organic one, made in the USA.  Only the best for Ever.  We even had it specially imported to HK because Little Merry Fellows don’t ship to HK.  Unfortunately Ever did not take to sleeping in a moses basket.   She preferred being snuggled right next to us in bed.  We started with her on a pillow between us, but my fears of smothering her and SIDS encouraged us to move onto a co-sleeper.   We purchased the Summer Infant By Your Side, a little basket that fits easily between us in bed, but takes out the risk of rolling over on top of her.   Now at 5 weeks she’s moving back into the moses basket beside me and off the bed but the co-sleeper was essential for our first month’s peaceful sleeping arrangements and made breastfeeding so easy.

Bouncer:  I will start by saying Ever is a needy little one.  She prefers to be held all the time, and preferable cuddled against my breast.  This made life a little hard for me as I was always stuck with one hand and unable to move around.   The bouncer solved this problem for us.   Once she fell asleep on my chest we could successfully shift her into the bouncer and the vibration kept her content enough to lie on her own.   She usually naps in our bouncer, as it’s quite spacious and deeper than others we’ve seen.  We went to for the Summer Infant Bouncer, which we hope will last until she’s at least 4 months old.  It packs flat so we can take it on trips or to see the grandparents. 

Breastfeeding Pillow:  My Brest Friend is by far the best breastfeeding pillow I’ve tried.   Ever is a hungry one so I spend the majority of my day nursing.  This one supports her weight so I can have a free hand and saves my arms from any soreness.  I have also found it easy to fall asleep while she’s feeding when using this pillow and she seems to happily doze on it after she’s finished.   Perfect for those late night feeds.

Burb cloths and onesies:  I purchased both muslin cloths and white onesies in multipacks from Mothercare.   They are so easy for laundry and cheap enough for you to purchase them by the boxful.   The onesies are ideal for layering and Ever lives in them when we are at home.  She is known to go through about three a day and we always keep two muslin cloths on hand for any messiness during feeds.   So essential and the more the better!

ErgoBaby: After being alerted to articles about hip dysplaysia, we decided that the Ergobaby was the best baby carrier for both us and little Ever.  We purchased the Performance model which features a super breathable fabric for HK humidity.  This paired with the snuggly Newborn Insert was an ideal combination.  Ever loves to feel snug in the fetal position and the straps and weight distribution is so comfortable for us.   We could carry her around for hours and not feel any strain, and it can be used up to 20 kilos so we’ll be carting her around for many months to come.  For all HK readers, strollers can be so fussy when navigating the busy sidewalks, so we’ve barely used ours.  The Ergobaby is our go to when taking Ever out, and we even use it at home when she’s being clingy.  She hasn’t been able to stay awake for more than 15 minutes when being carried in this, so it’s invaluable when calming her fussy moods.

Unimom Pump: For all breastfeeding mommies that want a life, pumping is essential.  I was recommended the Unimom pump which is available in Wing On in HK.  It’s much cheaper than the popular Medela varieties and works just as well.  I am not the best at pumping regularly, but have been trying now that I’m leaving Ever in the evenings while we are out for dinner.   It’s all about supply and demand so the more you pump the more you produce.   I get the most amount of milk in the morning so try to do at least two pumping sessions between 6am and midday.  The rest of the day I try to fit in a few more but it’s hard with a busy schedule and a needy newborn.  I’m still working on this skill so will keep you updated.

Nuk bottle:  Ever hates bottles and will fight them and scream for me.  The Nuk bottle was what the hospital recommended and after trying several brands it’s the only one she will take.  She drinks a lot less from the bottle but we are hoping she gets used to it soon.  A few friends and family have suggested other brands so we are still on the search for one that Ever loves. I’ll let you know if we start having more success.

Aden and Anais Swaddling Blankets:  Lightweight, perfect for taking out and cramming into your purse, can double as a burp cloth or shielding you while breastfeeding, and soft on your baby’s skin.  We love these, have them in lots of prints and can see us using it well into her toddler years.  Bulky blankets are a bit much for HK, so a light swaddling blanket is all you really need. 

Other goodies you should prepare with are nipple cream, breast pads, water wipes and sterile cotton, newborn diapers, nursing bras, postpartum girdles, comfy blankets, baby bathtub, white noise machine, night light, diaper changing station, and a good concealer for those tired mommy eyes.

We’ll have our 2nd month essentials up soon.

xx

The first “Ever Diary” where I’ll share everything Ever related from our hospital experience to monthly must haves and her favourite outfits.  I know everyone believes their baby is the cutest but I’ve become slightly addicted to snapping pics of our princess almost constantly.  It’s impossible not to want to capture every expression and moment so I’m sure I’ll have plenty to share…hopefully most of it interesting.

Ever’s first week was mainly spent at the hospital.  Please excuse her boyish outfit above.  Canossa required all the babies wear the same garments and obviously cater toward males.  She left in super cute pink tones to compensate for those four days in turquoise.  We had four nights in Canossa Hospital to start off our journey as parents.   I was very grateful for these four days where we had plenty of help to settle us into the daunting job of parenthood.  The nurses were all very kind and constantly available to answer my questions from breastfeeding to belly button care.   It also gave me a chance to rest at night while she was in the nursery. 

I decided early on I wanted to exclusively breastfeed so I had Ever with me all day in my room and after midnight they took her to the nursery where she had her own little bed.   They were instructed to bring her back every time she cried so I could feed her on demand.  This worked great for us and I was so excited every time I saw her little face each night.   I will do a dedicated post on breastfeeding but it was what I felt is the hardest part of pregnancy, childbirth, and the first month.  Both Ever and I took time to learn how to achieve the best latch and before my milk came in on the 2nd evening, we were constantly concerned about weight loss and jaundice.  All of this is very normal, but as a first time mother every little detail is cause for sleepless nights and fear.  Ever slept soundly most of her first week and it was hard to keep her awake to feed.   She barely cried and craved cuddles as much as we did.  Those first few days were essential for bonding, as a family.  You will actually be surprised at how little they require in the beginning.   Aside from diaper changes and attending to her hungry tummy she wanted for little else.   We held her to sleep most of the time, so she didn’t love sleeping in her moses basket but a co-sleeper did the trick.  

Products or items I couldn’t live without were my My Brest Friend breastfeeding pillow, Wink Shapewear post birth support garments, Homeoplasmine for my chapped lips, organic coconut oil for my skin and hair, Aden and Anais swaddling blankets for Ever, a large stack of Mothercare muslin cloths, sterile cotton wipes, basic cotton onesies, and an Instax Polaroid Camera.  The baby actually needs very little at the hospital except for the usual diapers and wipes.  We hadn’t started with the bottle yet, and they provide you with almost anything you would require for their first few days. 

For the mommies: Don’t pack cute pjs. Go for comfort and something that’s easy access for breastfeeding.  You will look scary at first.  I was shocked by my appearance in the mirror.  The tired eyes and sallow skin will go and showers go a long way in getting you there.  You’ve been through a lot and it took me two weeks to start feeling like me again.  Eat light and try to rest as much as possible.  Drink plenty of liquids and as many hugs and kisses as possible.  You deserve it. 

I’ll post about Ever’s first month soon with all our current newborn essentials.

Until next time..

xx

 A month after our little cutie arrived into our lives and I’m starting to feel like myself again. I had a very easy birth and recovery, which went far more smoothly than I anticipated.  Despite several pre surgery jitters, and a few freak outs before that big moment, the team of surgeons and Canossa Hospital made the experience easy and unintimidating. I didn’t anticipate how aware I would be during the c-section or how quickly the procedure would pass.  I spent most of the first ten minutes revelling in how strange it was to be completely numb from the waist down, and staring at the huge digital clock to my right until I heard the strong cry of my little girl.  The shock of the little squirming body held over the screen was overwhelming and exciting at the same time.  Her vibrating cry was so much stronger than I imagined and her pale and blood covered body was pretty far from the picturesque newborn you imagine. For me she didn’t become fully real until they brought her into my recovery room a few hours later. The boy followed her and the nurses to observe them cleaning and of course to cut the infamous umbilical cord.  I surveyed from a distance as they started to finish the surgery and even had a chance to hold her against my chest and squeeze in that necessary photo opportunity before she was whisked away for her check-up. Before I knew it I was being wheeled back to my room and greeted by friends and family with a slightly groggy head and still numb from waist down.  It only took two hours before I was sitting up, socialising, and attempting my first try at breastfeeding.  She stared into my eyes from the moment I held her and I felt the pull of our bond so strongly from that moment forward. 

I never felt once I missed out on bonding with our baby by not going through with the conventional natural childbirth. Having the boy by my side was essential for keeping me calm.  The worst part of the less than one hour procedure was how cold I felt before the surgery began and the daunting experience of the spinal.   Nothing was painful, but more uncomfortable.  I know I’ll feel less daunted next time around when I know exactly what to expect. I was put more at ease by talking to my doctor throughout the procedure, asking questions, and having the boy keep me occupied with everyday chat.   It was over before I knew it and having a cute little baby to concentrate on really takes over any other fear or discomfort. 

I’ll share more about our first week in the next post. 

xx

Tomorrow is one month from that amazing day when she arrived and the past thirty days have passed in a flash.  I’ve been absent here, but now that we are in a steady swing of the baby routine I have plenty to share with you guys on here.  

First let me introduce you to Ever Tai, a petite little girl with super long legs and eyelashes, a smile that appeared from day two, the sweetest sleepy demeanor, and a pouty look we can’t resist.  

Looking forward to sharing more with you soon!

xo